Jaosn "Gumby" finds India: Last Three Days

Jaosn "Gumby" finds India: Last Three Days: Have you ever been to the fair? Dirt roads, paved roads, paved roads with lots of dirt, while navigating around those she...

Jaosn "Gumby" finds India: And so it begins.

Jaosn "Gumby" finds India: And so it begins.: At the airports (all of them) I was nervous. Overly nervous would be putting it lightly. I’m not too sure as to why thoug...

Jaosn "Gumby" finds India: T-minus 8 days and counting.

Jaosn "Gumby" finds India: T-minus 8 days and counting.: There were a few suggestions that I should post while I prance around India looking for things I can't find here, and furthermore keep those...

A little poet

There is a skeeter on my peeter, and I intend to whack it off
Ant the ghost of you haunts me and my bookshelves
like the Ghost of Easter present the Siamese cat. 
you know the one with the ugly yellow spring hat?
The pavement of my youth is old and cracked.
The cartons say the same thing as they did back then
But the rumors they spread aren't the same.
Celebrations of grandeur, celebrated alone
Someone called the goose now it's gone to the dome
Nothing made sense here, least of all the boots
given the clouded structure of Ellison and Moots.

A piece on death, acceptence of other cultures, and living.

How can you prove it? That is the question for most of us isn’t? Oh. I’m sure as you butter your toast that isn’t on your mind, but I’m sure if you really pay attention throughout your day it’ll cross your mind. It might not be in those words; yet, the proof of something will be questioned.

Belief is a hard nut to crack, and in modern physics even harder to crack. Just think about if you aren’t there it isn’t real, and then you begin to think is anything real? Well, I think the true answer is no, and then we embark on a truly Gnostic path. So, solely an solipsism’s point of view nothing ever happens, unless you are there, but how is this so when it is obvious that other things happen without you being there, unless you are all things in the end?

How can there be no beginning, and no end; if all things just are then they are just as they are without separation?

It’s a complicated mess that I spend way too many lonely nights pondering, wishing, hoping, and longing over my assumptions to be untrue. That after all things are said and done we never were, nor never will be more than what we see, and feel. A very narrow edge the razor of nihilism is, but yet, I must move forward towards hope that not is hopeless.

The number one reason I think it might be pointless to move forward is that I will be preaching to the choir. Anyone who would read my stuff has already read the stuff that I have read, and probably have come to some conclusion close to mine. I guess in the end I wonder if I’m helping at all, or just throwing worthless shit out there that no one cares about, and throwing pearls to the swine.

It all rests on certitude, and when you read the above statements (if you have made it this far) you would probably be lost, and that is exactly how I feel. I once heard Fred Allen Wolf say that he wanted to leave this world a better place. So, that upon his reincarnation the world would be better for the newer him. I find this interesting, but as I look into more religious doctrine, I realize that a great deal of thought over the centuries has dealt with this very concept. I don’t think anyone really believes in any of it. Not deep down, and that the only thing they are really fighting is the one thing everyone does know for certain: the body in which you live your life will at some point cease in its beingness.

Right now I’m not even concerned with whether your consciousness moves anywhere, but the simple and inevitable death of you as a shit factory. It is going to happen. I know this, and I am willing to bet that every walking, thinking, reacting piece of animated carbon knows that fact too. It is out of this fear that we create little stories that comfort us. Even the damned atheists do it.

The atheists have their cause, and if one gives them selves to a said cause, a bigger entity, then one lives on through the cause. It is a simple honest hope that through offering ourselves to the bigger cause we somehow (and oddly enough in a very Christ like manner) are resurrected and live everlasting life by passing on the illuminated ignorance to the following hapless apes.

There is no escape, not really. Yet, here we are toiling away to buy a T.V. The information age is being jeopardized, but because we fear death we are willing to give everything but the T.V away. The only reason we aren’t willing to do that is the same reason farmers farm. It’s to forget for a while that you are going to cease to be, and that somewhere in the dirt of the field he will find meaning in another wise pointless life. Is it possible that through this pointlessness we can find the meaning?

Oh, I hear it now the Jesus people are screaming Christ; the Hindu folk are claiming Krishna, Muslims Mohammad, and the Buddha minds emptiness. I need your trust in this one. I want you to ponder, what your chosen holy figure would say if you threw your T.V. out the window.  Not one of the aforementioned whistle blowing, revolutionizing, unpatriotic fuckers would be sad by your actions. However, I would like to point out that they would be rather pissed at you for fighting to keep it. Because it draws your mind away from what is really going on.

The point is you need to think about death, and accept it, and since you do this you will be a little more thankful for the time you have, a little more understanding, a bit more accepting, and little less worried that your two male neighbors use their own bodies to test the temperature of the other. Why!? Because you aren’t going to have enough time to worry about others, when you need to be working your own self-serving bullshit out, your time is short, and in the end it means diddly shit any way.

So, the pointlessness of everyone else’s bullshit doesn’t weigh you down, what is weighing you down? Well, now that we have accepted the pointlessness of all things, death along with it becomes pointless. Meaning? You aren’t scared of shit. Meaning? You can now begin to live life! Isn’t that exciting!

That’s right Christ wasn’t living until he gave up everything. You too can begin living by minding your own business, and not giving a shit. See, this is what those holy guys did in the end. They made the everyday bullshit not matter. They made you able to live by not fearing. In any religious and authentic tradition, there should be no fear for there is no death. True death is the fear of life., and getting caught up with the demons, kleshias, shenpas, and any other word you want to forge in regards to everyday bullshit that stops you from living, and I mean truly living.

Have we not forgotten to live on our own? We have become accustomed to living out our dreams and fantasies in our own homes, safely far, far away from fear. This might be the single reason I detest some writers and storytellers. They gave people the ability to live out dreams, and did not giving them the proper tools to do it on their own. These men have become god’s in their own right, just because they wrote their negative feelings down, and traveled the world. Traveling does not make one great it only makes them proactive, and identifying with these men only makes you reactionary.

Yet, I can prove none of this trifling. You can though, by trying it out, thinking about it, and just being in pure experience. After all there is only one certainty that you, those great men that are now gods, me, and all the plant life in the world can count on, and that is death. Don’t be afraid of not existing. One must experience to miss the experience in the first place, and if you hide from everything to avoid death, you have essentially hidden from everything that can make you alive.

A Breal

This is my Thanksgiving break, writing break, yes that is right, I’m taking a break from my usual writings to address something that is down right bothering me. As people give thanks for freedom this Thursday people across this nation are being put into jail, for simply gathering. Albeit they might just be a little disruptive, but shit I can be disruptive at times. What scares me as I have watched the last 10 years roll by, the average person has become complacent, lethargic, and most of all un- inquisitive. Personally as I read over the Patriot Act I was scared, I was scared because the visions of what was written in those pages, are the very things I am seeing today. I felt helpless as then as I do now. What the hell I am supposed to do. In many rights I am the animal caught in the headlights of the democratizing, Pseudo-liberating, capitalistic panzer tank, and it seems to me that everyone is applauding it, and cheering it on. God forbid you loose any of the materialistic non-sense you call yours, because after all it is theirs. What do you actually own? Please take a quick inventory on what you own, and how much you really paid for that rust bucket you call transportation, or that house that the bank owns and you have to pay for when it begins to become a shack and you call yours, but in the end is not. And why is it not yours? Because they could take it at any time, any time. But really what they own is you. Because, you put so much time and effort into your ego, and what that means, there is no way you could skip out on that job, for that job is you. That house is you; you are your stuff.

            This is the metaphysical leap that we are more than willing to take. I’ll pay seventy dollars for a pair of jeans that appear to be worn by a construction worker all summer. Why? It’s that the pants have more value and meaning when you buy them at the store? How can that be? I will admit that for the most part you get what you pay for, for instance some things last longer than others, so it’s not just the Metaphysical assumptions, sometimes the metaphysical assumptions arise out of authentic causes. However, they are formed for the most part out of what you were told as a child. What things mean, and how they define you.

            I’m hoping that this current movement moves us away from out ward expression of who we are to an inward movement as to who we are. Who are you to yourself, and what does that mean. For a house, car, i-pod, i-mac, or any of the above will not make you a better person. Everything you own is not a reflection of who you are. Being is something that you do on the inside, and reflect that to those who are around you. However, in this current state of affairs it’s the type of glasses, or Nikes you wear that make you who you are. They are no longer a reflection of who you are on the inside, but somehow while owning these items it is now internalized. This could be called the reverse Metaphysical leap.

            The reverse Metaphysical leap is that something can make you something you are not. A house, good job, and children are the things that make you who you are, and without them you are undefined. Ponder that for a second, what do you own that defines you, that without you’d have no idea as to who you truly are. Religion is another point of interest. I am referring the idea of something larger that you are apart of. Without it who are you? If the answer is nothing there needs to be a great deal of soul searching I’d say.

            The bottom line is simply this: be who you are on the inside, and worry not about the outside. Too much emphasis has been placed on the outward appraisals of who we are, so much to the point that I think a great deal of us has lost who we truly are, and have replaced it with clothing, and titles. I don’t have the answers as to how to fix this situation. I just want to point at it, and hope that you look at it with deep concern. For what is at stake is you for Christ’s sake.

My encounter with death

  After a long day at work I decided to walk down to the local hole in a wall pub. As per usual the place had more pipes than plumbers, and the few scant females that were there, I'd prefer them to not fix my pluming.  So, when the too skinny for T.V. gentleman sat next to me I didn't object, and in fact I  appreciated his company.
  I'm not good at small talk, in fact I lack a great deal of social skills, it was as if he new this, and knew just how to get me started.
  DO YOU THINK HUMANS ARE EVOLVING?
  " I want to."
 WELL, DON'T YOU THINK YOU HAVE MADE A GREAT DEAL OF PROGRESS IN THE LAST HUNDRED YEARS OR SO?
   " I can't deny that. And when you think about it, one has to admit that we have become more aware of other. But on the other hand it appears that we haven't quite gotten over the hump the of the social ladder."
  TRUE FROM MY PERSPECTIVE THE SOCIAL LADDER YOU SPEAK OF HAS NO BEARING ON ANYTHING AT ALL.
  It was at this point that I got a real good look at my impermanent friend. He was so skinny that it looked as thought the skin was stretched tight across his skull, and his eyes were so blue that they seemed to glow.
  "And just what is your perspective exactly?"
  I AM DEATH.
  At that moment I saw him as he was, a skeleton with blue glowing eyes. It was only a flash and then he was back to his skinny self.
 "How can you be here?" I asked. "I'm sure someone is dying somewhere."
  OH, YES THERE ARE PEOPLE DYING ALL OVER THE WORLD. HOWEVER, I'M PRIVY TO SOME INTERESTING INFORMATION. FOR EXAMPLE, THERE IS NO SEPARATION FROM ANY ONE THING. THE IDEA OF SELF AND OTHER ARE ONLY ILLUSIONS.THEREFORE I CAN BE EVERYWHERE ALL AT ONCE, AND NOWHERE ALL AT ONCE. NOWHERE AND NOW HERE, JUST ONE SPACE CAN CREATE SUCH DISTANCE, BUT THE FUNDAMENTALS ARE ALL THE SAME.
 "Yes, I've heard that before, but things certainly appear real."
  THAT IS BECAUSE EVERYTHING IS RELATIVE.
  "If everything is relative, then all sex is incest."
  FUNNY YOU SHOULD MENTION THAT, THERE HAS BEEN STUDIES THAT SUGGEST THAT YOU HUMANS ALL COME FROM A PAIR OF ORIGINAL HUMANS. AT LEAST THE BIBLE GOT THAT MUCH RIGHT. 
 "Way to ruin a joke."
  SINCE I HAVE TO HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR ABOUT MY OCCUPATION. I RUIN EVERYONE'S TRUE JOKE. THEIR EGO.
 I then brace myself for the ultimate question. The question that can make or break humanities place in the universe. " So, do us humans have free will?"
He said without hesitation, I KNOW I DON'T...