Why?

I can tell you it's probably not what I would have thought any way. Good riddance to such foul animals that roam thine earth known as as humans. I can't understand the unintelligent, I can't. And in fact I wonder why they are using my air. I understand that their lives are better than mine, only if their simplistic life leads to a better and simpler living, insofar as they don't have to worry. They only believe and act on totally what they are told. I yearn for such a simple life. However, I know that you can have what ever you want, but you pay for it at a price the is relevant to the material acquired. I have a total different combination of wineings and complaints on this particular subject, but then again the average human, and there is an average, wouldn't give two shits. I'm okay with this, well not really or I wouldn't be blabbering on about such trivial matters.

Something or not

Here I am. I'm happy this summer. I don't miss those who have chosen to leave me life, and often its me choosing it for them. Others, just come and go which is the natural progression in life. I think I'm nearing the end of the road on some things. And this is perfectly okay, I'm not looking back anymore. The future as all ways is very cloudy, and I can't think of what the perfect next step is, and this is coupled with the fact that I am aware that the things I want to do are absolutely fruitless, in that, I will never be successful in what I am attempting to embark upon. And what is that you may ponder. It is simply looking for the looker, God, the collective consciousness, the universe, the causeless cause, or whatever it is that you use to call to the  higher power. At times I claim to be a staunch atheist, and at other times I will claim to be agnostic, the only thing I find myself being positive about, is that the deeper i go the less I really know. A great deal of what I'm searching for cannot be proven or dis-proven, and there for I cannot give a definitive answer for. I want to give a definitive answer to all of it. However, I'm finding that the collection of answers lead to the ultimate answer: It cannot be answered. Still I want to trudge through the sludge and come out of the the proverbial pile of bull shit to come to a congruent answer, that is more defined than: it is what it is and it shall be so. In that phrase is the suggestion of letting go, or better, give in to faith. 

This then leads us to the idea of faith, and the idea that letting go is the ultimate answer. How can letting go actually invigorate us to go any further than our front door? The first realization is that any type of enlightenment, saving, or the experience of the eternal something will not cause you to escape it, nor will it give you the power to obtain all that you will. The enlightenment experience will only give you the ability to perceive and contemplate events that occur in a different manner. It will not make you super man, and it most definitely will not remove you from your body. So, we are stuck in this body, further more we are stuck with our Karma. As we all should know karma is not a retribution to the events you cause; your karma is what you stand in. it is the pile of aggregates you are given to sort through. Much like the early American christian Johnathan Edwards your religious experience is something that needs to be worked at, your life is something that needs to be worked at. I believe that your society is something that needs to be worked at. Thus, you have to enter into it become part of it and play your part. In all honesty I'd love to go out and leave this world, and join a monastery where I wouldn't have to deal with the ignorance I see on an everyday basis, but the only way to fix the said ignorance is to stand with it, and be part of it. Not only does a person have to work the outer they must work the inner.

The biggest fault I see in most organized religions is that they run on a terribly constructed rope ladder. A rope ladder that has to be climbed in just the right way to reach the top, and then once at the top it is the job of the person at the top of the rope ladder to make sure that no one reaches the top of rope ladder again. Pecking order as I see it is highly outdated, but yet is still used in everyday life, and to be honest I truly feel that if this rope ladder was cut down the average everyday person would be lost. We as a collective need someone in charge, but we all know that there are very few people who don't take this call to be Alpha whatever, and not use and abuse it. It is nearly everyday that I watch as people do things that are unbeknownst to themselves in reaction to the whole pecking order of chimps. It's as simple as this: WE ARE ANIMALS. We are controlled by our bodily functions, and further more our reactions are reflections of those hard wired into us, and this leads to the inevitable acts of those in charge, or if one would like to say it gurus. It has been my experience that a great deal of these so called enlightened people are indeed out for themselves, and willing to put you at great personal risk, just for their benefit. I will go as far as to say I could be wrong about this, however, I have seen the hurricane damage left behind from so called enlightened men. It isn't very pretty. The entitlement that their guru had ( which was false to begin with) has been further planted into his followers, and this enlightenment lingers even after his death. The scary part about this situation is the part where people close themselves off, yet swank that they are by far the exemplification of openness. One must remember that even if a window's opaqueness in nonexistent; it does not mean that it is open.

So go out and find you....