Thoughts leading to answer that is no answer

It seems useless to assume that I will ever come to an answer of how did I come to this point. I know how I got here, I know why I thought what I did, but how in the hell did any of that happen, moreover, did I have a choice in any of it? The question has been raised theologically, and answered by philosophy, and yet the thoughts continue to arise out of nowhere. It's the causes and conditions that solidify us more each day. I beg you to question how did you arise out of these things we associate with feelings. You assume yourself to be something, and that something can only be described as a collection of thoughts and feelings, but where do these thoughts and feelings come from? If one takes the time to quiet their mind they might find it surprising that their thoughts seem to come from nothing. Your brain is nothing but an electrical black board. That of which nothingness writes upon. You watch as a feeling arises you grab on to this feeling and run. Where and how fast you run with it is up to you, but you must realize that you are not the one creating the choice. It is at this point that faith must be concluded, and that all things arise out of the need to see the self again, and yet, we only look at what arises out of nothing.